My Summer Lair featuring Joshua Harris (I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye)
Published on: February 19 2019
My Summer Lair Chapter #104: Did You Read I Kissed Dating Goodbye?
I did not. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t affected by that pervasive (invasive?) dating culture.
Because I successfully outgrew it I forgot how complicated it was to just talk to a girl and ask her out for tea. Remember that? I’m not interested in you; I have no desire to marry you…I’m not sexually attracted to you: I have tea with my guy friends; I’d like to have tea with you. Not TEA just tea. It’s really nice when you can just hang out with a girl and that’s it.
(Married girls were the best…we all had clear boundaries: I have no desire to touch your boobies!)
Well that complicated communication between the sexes got even more complicated in 1997 with Joshua Harris’ I Kissed Dating Goodbye.
That book became the symbol of a culture that warped sex, politics, purity and fear…so much fear. The analogy I use in the interview is apt: we all experienced this same fear from adults over weed. If you got into weed it’d be a slippery slope…you’ll become destitute!!
That fear is of course is rooted in control. Which is well meaning but ultimately irrational; it’s like wrapping kids up in bubble wrap before sending them to school.
Prompted by recent online discussions about his book and that culture Joshua Harris began reflecting on the damage his good intentions caused…and that has lead to this documentary I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye and this My Summer Lair visit.